The Truth About My Age

A few weeks back I was listening to the High Low podcast (click here to read more of my favourite podcasts!). Dolly Alderton convinced us that she has a friend who was born at the age of 40 years old. She explained throughout their friendship her bestie has always had a very mature taste and is mocked for being a granny. 

This made me wonder about my age.

My most frequent emojis on my phone are: pink heart with those yellow diamonds, love heart eyes face, rolling eyes face, unamused face, lightning bolt, the shooting/swirly star and grandma emoji.

The grandma emoji is my favourite representation of myself. It's the one I put next to "sorry I didn't reply, I fell asleep," text.

I'm 22 years old. And that's certain. Sorry if the title was a bit of a clickbait, my passport and birth certificate all confirmed that I was born in 1994. 

I'm just pondering - what age do I act like? 

I get told that I look like I'm about 16-19 years old. Sometimes even 14, but I'm not quite sure if they are over-exaggerating. I try so hard not to flare my nostrils when people say, "22? But you look like a baby!" The other day my spinning instructor guessed I was about 21 years old. I wanted to hug her, but I resisted, I was drenched in sweat. Also, that would be weird to hug someone because they nearly guessed your age correctly. 

I assure myself that looking young is a good thing. It's okay because I'll look 28 when I'm actually 48. It's okay because I'm sure Selena Gomez gets this all time. And it's okay that I get ID for buying alcohol or lottery tickets (FYI you have to be 16 to buy them). 

But when it comes down to my personality. I'm pretty sure I'm not 22. 

Things I like to do that a normal 22-year-old wouldn't:

• Drink Gin - So it's becoming a popular beverage lately. But I'm pretty sure it was only me asking for a double gin and tonic at the student club, whilst Pitbull and David Guetta played in the background.

• Watching Location, Location, Location - When I was young I absolutely remember moaning to my parents about how boring it was. Over a decade later I find myself addicted. Most people binge watch Game of Thrones, Friends or Narcos. Mine is Phil and Kirstie working their magic on finding people's dream properties. 

• DISCO DISCO DISCO - My current music genre obsession is D-I-S-C-O. I found myself blasting "Yes Sir, I Can Boogie" at the gym to get me pumped this week. 

• Cancelled Plans - "Sorry Kara, I can't make it anymore tonight!" is music to my ears.

• Not Completely Understanding How Tinder Works - So once you've swiped 'no' they are gone forever? And why doesn't anyone browse through all of their photos, one picture will suffice?

• In A Long Term Relationship - Not sure if this is a mature thing about my life, but we act like a married couple.

• In Love With The Countryside - I can picture myself living miles away from everyone else. I wouldn't want to spend my entire life like that, but I would like to be surrounded by nature and silence. 

• Obsession With Plants - I have 9 babies in my room (my plants are my children and yes, I name them). That's just in my room. I have managed to plot some other younguns around the house. Replotting plants and buying pots give me goosebumps. I'm always on the look out for more to add to my collection. I aspire to have a house like Kate's from Tribe And Us. I'm definitely going to do a blog post on the type of plants I have already.

• Pub Sessions - A night at the pub would be more amusing if I could afford more than two pints. I end up hugging on to each glass, slowly sipping the warm brew. 

• Sleeping Before 12am - *INSERT GRANNY EMOJI* But honestly, try it out for a week. You'll feel sooo much better. I'm actually a 'morning person', but how would I have known if I woke up just before midday all the time? 

• Going On Pointless Walks - Talking and walking... the best kind of conversations. 

• I Get Cold Easily - Pass the cardigan! You'll find scarfs and hats in my bag, whatever the weather.

• Adore Everything Vintage - cars, films, fashion... you name it! My family have known that for years. Anything in an archaic style they say "Kara would like that!"

• My mindset - If you didn't get the memo already I am genuinely a mature person. The best advice I have received is from people older than me. I tend not to worry about the future because I know I'm in my prime time and everything is going to be ok. 

What age would you think I was if you just read those bullet points? I'd say over 40 years old! 

Hope you enjoyed this little getting to know me post. If you had to ponder on your actual age or the age of your personality, what would your number be?

Top, Necklace - Mango

Skirt - Zara 

Boots - Marks & Spencer

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Beware of the Two-Faced Millennials

I watched The Life of Kylie (Jenner) last week. I'm not a big fan of hers or her sister, but I was in the mood to be bitchy. I admit I wanted to have a lil moan in order to make myself feel better. She'll never know that I think she's boring or fake but it makes me feel soooo good screaming at the telly, "you're so plastic!"

Kylie pouted her way through the whole episode drawing on personal issues. She acknowledged why she is so popular on social media. Her cars, her rapper boyfriends, her mansion, her dogs, her body, her face... She knows we all want her #perfect life, that is why she is just shy of under 100 million followers on Instagram.

And then she proceeded to say how she wishes she was normal and had a mundane life. But that only led me to shout even louder "then why are you creating a new reality show? Normal people don't do that!"

I was ready to turn the TV off until she said, "I’m kind of putting up a version of myself to the world that isn’t fully me … it [criticism] doesn’t really hurt me because I know that that’s not really me."

How sad. I stopped shouting at the screen and whispered - how sad.

Wealth and fame come with a side dish of criticism. I'm sure her sisters and mother have warned her on that.

In my opinion, she tackles obloquy in a misguided manner.

Let me get this right. So... she won't show her true identity to the world because she knows she'll get ridiculed? But the majority of backlash she receives scream that 'she's fake'. Her monologue revealed she's showing her fans a fabricated version of herself.

Then that means the censure is completely spot on. She is being fake. We can tell she's not being the real Kylie and we hate that. We've seen many celebrities in our twenty-first-century life and we can spot a fake one galaxies away.

I'm sure if she acted more like herself people wouldn't dislike her so much. I know I would prefer to see the girl who used to share silly vines and experiment with fashion styles. But we don't see that girl anymore because it's easier to show another identity online. Another identity that guarantees everyone will find her perfect and sexy.

Kylie isn't the only person on social media to do this.

Don't we all hesitant to share things online because we don't want to be made fun out of?

I haven't done an outfit post on this blog for a while because I feel awkward sharing photographs of me even though I enjoy showing you my personal style.

Therefore I'd rather create a different online representation of myself because I'm embarrassed to show my genuine interests.

And then I realised. Kylie's strategy of not being her authentic self is why social media can be so damaging. People want likes and followers, therefore they create a fictitious online figure. One that looks prettier and happier. So when it comes to evaluating your life and your social media life - we see two faces.

I wish social media was a place for creativity or showing your friends what you've been doing (in a very humble approach). Not a place where it was about who's following who. Showing phoney identities to be popular. I sound like that sad girl in Mean Girls who wished everyone would just get along!

But surely, wouldn't you feel better having nearly 100 million followers (or even 1 million!) who followed you for who you are? Instead of people loving you for the person you are not. It shows that being yourself will always win.

Instead, we're playing the game.

We like to pretend we're #lovinglife when in fact we're pretty miserable. But if you think we're #lovinglife then that makes us feel a bit better. Who wants to show they're sad online? Nobody wanna see that! That's not fashun!

Beware of the two faced Millennials.

This creative outlet is meant to be for us. A place where we can express ourselves. Why are displaying fake representations? It only makes us feel worse. If the internet isn't a place where we can present our true image, then there are not many places left for us to do so.

This blog post may seem a bit confusing but all I'm trying to say is that...

I solemnly swear to always show my true emotions and authentic interests. I will not think about what others will think (Elizabeth Gilbert has definitely helped me in doing so) and never present a false image of myself online. So that means, I'm doing more fashion outfit posts and less hiding behind the camera! My two faces will be one. What you see on the screen is what you get in real life.

 I'm such a big fan of honest bloggers right now like Karina Woodburn, Chloe Plumstead, Cait Taylor. They tell it how it is. And not afraid to admit their struggles. Reading their blogs makes me realise I'm not alone and no-one has a perfect life.

*Cue in the uplifting music!*

Top - Zara

Ears - Mango

Goosebumps - From the excitement of what is to come on this blog!

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What Elizabeth Gilbert's 'Big Magic' Taught Me

This probably isn't the first blog post you've read about Elizabeth Gilbert's 'Big Magic'. I call it the blogger hand book, as it gets creative thinkers out of the funk.

But 'Big Magic' isn't only for people who label themselves as gifted. It is a guide to think creatively.

Gilbert teaches you how to think diversely from our standard, pessimistic, anxious and negative thoughts.

One of her valuable approaches, out of the countless practices to live a creative life, is to expect the best instead of the worse. What happens if the project that you've been afraid to tell anyone about is actually a genius idea? You've got a blog idea - go for it - even though there are zillions of blogs out there, there isn't one that is crafted by you. Who knows, you could have the most viewed lifestyle blog! You could have a YouTube page that holds more subscribers than Zoella! You will never know unless you start creating.

But don't worry or kick yourself if something bad happens as a result of you taking a chance. Because the world will continue to spin and the birds will carry on singing.

Gilbert highlights that our fear is overpowering and prevents us from taking more opportunities.

Somehow, a woman I have never met before has grasped exactly why I doubt myself in doing more creative things. She knows that I'm afraid of what people will say about my work. She knows that I can be a perfectionist, therefore, I won't do anything because I'm scared I will fail. She knows being creativity is more than a hobby, it is essential in my life.

If you haven't read it already, I don't know what you're waiting for. It'll be your 'go-to' when you're feeling uninspired or doubtful. I could write so much more about Gilbert's work of wonder but I think I'll leave it to her.

Here are some of my treasured quotes to lift your spirits.

"But such thinking assumes there is a 'top' - and that reaching the top (and staying there) is the only motive one has to create. Such thinking assumes that the mysteries of inspiration operate on the same scale that we do - on a limited human scales of success and failure, of winning and losing, of comparison and competition, of commerce and reputation, of units sold and influence wielded."

This quote reminds me that it's not all about winning. Not every single product of your creativity has to be popular, successful or loved. She later on writes:

"Creativity is a gift to the creator, not just a gift to the audience"

If your unpopular work is weighing you down, just remember that inspiration is magic, and we should feel grateful that we can create things, good or bad.

 She wishes that her favourite writers, Harper Lee and F Scott Fitzgerald, should have written "anything and put it out there with reckless abandon... ignore the outcome." She would have loved to read more of their work, no matter if it was rubbish, she longed to have a larger collection of their novels. 

"Perfectionists often decide in advance that the end product is never going to be satisfactory, so they don't even bother trying to be creative in the first place."

Now, Gilbert is definitely talking to me about this:

"Let inspiration lead you wherever it wants to lead you. Keep in mind that for the most of history people just made things, and they didn't make such a big freaking deal of it. We make things because we like making things."

I don't think I need to explain that one. Why do we constantly take ourselves so seriously? I stopped blogging for a while because I didn't think I was good enough. But as soon as I got back into it, I hated that I stopped. I love blogging because I can express myself, not because I want to get views or comments. It is my hobby because I love to write. It is only a plus (not essential) when I see people have read it.

"You not required to save the world with your creativity."

I told my friend Ruby that the other day. She said she wants to create films but believe that she needs to help people instead. That's so wonderful of her. So selfless and charitable. But I told her, thanks to Gilbert, that helping others shouldn't stop you from creating what you want to create. Gilbert wrote 'Eat, Pray, Love' for herself. Totally for herself. And miraculously she has helped and supported so many readers even though it wasn't meant to be a self-help novel!

Gilbert says if we base our lives on aiding others with our creative work - we will never be truly happy. There will always be some one out there who needs rescuing. That is a ton of weight to put on your shoulders.

"It's okay if your work is fun for you... healing for you... or totally frivolous. That's allowed. It's all allowed."

It's absolutely brilliant that there are people willing to place themselves last. But it shouldn't stop you from doing what you've dreamed about.

"Your own reasons to create are reason enough. Merely by pursuing what you love, you may inadvertently end up helping us plenty."

The best evidence to bloggers trying to become full-time professional bloggers is: don't do it for the money. You'll be disappointed by how much work you'll have to put in. You'll be disheartened that your views aren't increasing. So do it for the love of creating.

"The rewards had to come from the eternal results - I knew that. The rewards had to come from the joy of puzzling out the work itself... If someday I got lucky enough to be paid for my work, that would be great, but in the meantime, money could always come from other places."

Gilbert had me kissing the book when I read this evidence:

"You are free, because everyone is too busy fussing over themselves to worry all that much about you. Go be whoever you want to be. Do whatever you want to do."

This is when I realised I need to leave fear at home, tuck it in bed, and go to the party. Having fear and anxiety about what others think shouldn't be a reason to stop us from producing.

I would love love love to write more about my reflections on Elizabeth Gilbert's 'Big Magic', but I think I'll leave that to you to discover more. I'm sure I'll be mentioning this book again (and I have already) throughout my writing because it is honestly a game-changer.

After each and every chapter I found myself going 'ahhh, that's so true! I never thought of it like that!'

*******

If anyone else knows of any other books that are similar to this, please let me know!

If you already have an extensive reading list and there's not enough room for another. I'd advise you to watch this interview of Gilbert with Marie Forleo.

Photos were taken at Clerkenwell Grind.

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What I Truly Want To Do After University

It's been a while since you've heard about my thoughts. I've gotten up to so much recently and I realised I've been putting off answering the big questions in my life. Roughly, 3 to 5 people a week ask me what do I want to do now that I have finished university. It's an appropriate question. I don't get flustered or agitated when they ask about my future. I am curious too about my friends plans'. This is why I've crafted this post. For the curious ones out there, or others that are in the same position as me. I will explain what I want to do now that I have completed my degree.

I WANT TO DO WHAT I LOVE

I believe I am quite lucky in knowing exactly what I want my future to look like. I always have. My passions in life haven't altered that much since I started university. If so, I have gained more passions; film, fitness, healthy eating and mindfulness.

My overall hobbies are writing, reading, fashion, food, travel, photography and music. If I have a career that delves into just ONE of these interests - then I'll be grateful.

People say, do what you love. I have options of what I want to do after university, because I have hobbies. Many people that struggle to think about careers tend to not have any hobbies. They have spent their whole lives in education, so much so that it expropriates their lifestyles. They have been living and breathing in education and nothing else. With social media and electronic devices greatly absorbed into our culture, we rely on it to fill our free-time and amuse us. If you don't have anything that sparks you, how will you know what you love in life? And how will you begin to find a job that you know you'll love?

I have attempted to continue my hobbies throughout university in favour of thinking about careers that suit my interests and degree.

I want to have a job that makes me want to get out of bed every morning. Exactly like how my hobbies drive me to start the day.

WHAT TYPE OF JOB DO I WANT

I want a job that won't make me dread Monday's and live for Friday's. My number one wish is to have a job that I love. Some may say that is too much to ask for. Why is it? Why should I spend 5 days a week, 20 days in a month, 260 days in a year wishing to be elsewhere? My life will fly by if I keep on waiting for the weekend. 

I know that in every job there will be difficulties and stress. That's fine. I want challenges. And hopefully the negative aspects won't outweigh the joy of working. 

NO, REALLY, WHAT JOB DO YOU WANT!

OK, that description of my ideal job was broad. The field of work I'd like to get into is some form of writing online. Whether that's an online editor, journalist, blogger, content writer or social media strategist. I have always loved blogging and it's thrilling to notice there are more writing jobs based online. 

However, I am still incredibly passionate about film and screenwriting. I don't have that much experience in it, so this would be where I'd have to take more courses and go back to school. That is one of my long term goals. For now, it can be a hobby. In the future, it could be a career. 

WHAT'S MY CURRENT PLANS?

It's heartbreaking to think this will be my last summer holiday. After that I'll have to ask when can I have a break! I want to spend this summer enjoying being with my friends, hopefully travelling and having some kind of part-time job or internship that will teach and guide me on my first steps into the big wide world. 

******

I'm so excited for what the future holds. Some people think I'm scared because this is the first time EVER where I have no idea what I'll be doing in 6 months time. As daunting as that sounds, I take unpredictable circumstances positively, because we cannot forecast the future. If I have a confident approach, then I can manifest positivity into my life. 

Is there anyone else who has finished university or just quit a job and doesn't know where the future will take you? You are NOT alone!

Bodysuit: Asos

Trousers: Missguided

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My new love affair with Oxford // Photo Diary

I spent the day away from my desk and dissertation. My boyfriend was staying in Oxford for a few days, and thought to give him a visit. I've never been to Oxford before. I kept on thinking I have, but I was mistaking it for Cambridge. 

I had two hours to spend on my own in Oxford before Leo finished his work. It was so easy to get to there from Coventry. Only 40 minutes on the Cross Country train - but Christ, that was a busy train.

Got off the train about 3 pm. Picked up a map. Left the station. It felt like I was being watched. Reenacting the last moments you see a girl go missing, her last visible movements on CCTV at the train station before she's gone forever. 

Luckily I'm not gone forever. Still here! 

So I followed the crowd. Everyone seemed to walk in unison towards the centre. When I saw Nando's and Giraffe. I knew I was getting to the centre. 

There were tonnes of people sightseeing. Am I tourist too? I'm not from this city and it's the first time I've been here. Feels odd to say I am when in fact I'm from the same country. Does this count as a 'staycation'? Please tell me it does as I'm ready for a holiday. 

I checked my map again, apparently I reached the heart of Oxford. With a heavy backpack and avoiding to spend any money on attractions. I thought I'd give myself my own walking tour. 

I think I'd like to live in a city like this. Minus the students who attend the prestigious university. I was quite surprised to see how they dress. When did posh people become hippies? I thought the Oxford students dressed preppy! Is preppy too 2008? Seems like Gossip Girl and The O.C era is dead. They wore wide frame glasses and tatty patterned fleeces. Shoes that looked like they've been through a war. At war with the concrete they scurry along to get to their lectures. Or at war with consumerism, perhaps? 

It was so busy right in the centre. It made me wonder, why do I find Oxford uncomfortably busy but London homely? I love London's hum of busy streets. Maybe because I know where I'm going. Maybe because it is home. And anything bad that London has to offer I shove it under the carpet. 

I decided to have a beverage. Intentionally it was going to be a coffee. Intentionally I wanted to buy it from an independent coffee shop. Why be anywhere in the country and go to Starbucks or Costa? I searched for quiet coffee shops that looked pretty. Then I searched for pretty coffee shops. Then I searched for coffee shops. Right in the middle of the city it's harder to find coffee shops as it is over crowded with pubs and restaurants. 

Pubs. Ah. I did fancy a beer for a spilt second. Maybe a girly strawberry cider. That would soothe my tired shoulders and sweaty back. The true Englishman came out in me. A pint was what I needed. 

I found a cute pub by the river. Perfect. Then I thought about how much a pint would cost in a city like this and by a river. Mm, not so perfect anymore. I'm still a student at the end of the day. 

Back to finding a coffee shop! I found one or two. But then I realised I shouldn't be having any dairy. Most coffee shops charge an extra pound or at least 80p for non dairy add ons. And I know that chain coffee shops don't. So I went to Pret A Manger! Sorry to all the coffee shops I missed out on. I'm still a student at the end of the day! 

Alas. My soya mocha and kindle in hand. Could I get anymore hipster?

My backpack was off my sweaty back. I sat by the window which faced a small and archaic church. This will do. 

After about 45mins. Still sipping on my soya mocha because I ain't buying anything else here! Leo said he was on his way. We take the luxury of internet on our phones for granted. Leo and I didn't have any data left on our phones. So we had to find each other the old skool way. 

'Meet me at Nando's!'

The most romantic meeting spot you could think of. 

I dragged Leo into a hotspot I passed two hours ago. We had a cool cool beverage. Finally sipping on my girly pint. We talked about our week so far then went on another stroll around Oxford. We managed to find a beautiful road called Holywell Street. This road led us to an even more beautiful place. Well-hidden narrow alleys called St. Helens Passage. A few pubs squatted here. Tucked away from the bustling city centre. It was so adorable. Historical too! But what isn't old and classical in Oxford? William Morris's and Dante Gabriel Rossetti's wife (née Jane Burden) was born here! Also, check out what Bill Clinton "allegedly" got up to. So peaceful and pleasant. It was that kind of place Americans would picture England to look like. 

After this stroll, and falling in love with Oxford more and more. It was time for dinner. But before we stuffed our gobs, we found a rooftop bar that made delicious and unusual cocktails. Sitting right at the top of the building looking over the University buildings, we couldn't have had a more perfect evening than this. For dinner we decided Turtle Bay. It would have been our fourth time there but it still excites us! 

I ended off the evening with a sore feet, a belly full of goodness, and a new love affair - Oxford. Sorry London.  

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Did I Accomplish 2016 New Year Resolutions?

I wrote a list last year. Wanna see if I've accomplished anything?

Have a scroll.

1. Take blogging more seriously 

It wasn't hard to find last year's New Year's resolution blog post, because I haven't created many blog posts this year. Just a couple of scrolls, and there is it. Sitting comfortably at the top of my archive as if I typed it yesterday.

It's funny to say blogging is my hobby, as a rarely write blog posts nowadays. Lately I've been reading so so many exciting blogs, filling myself up with inspiration, only to doubt myself 'can I create something beautiful and imaginative?'

When I started blogging at 15 years old, everyone was at the same level. Basic blog template, a few comments here and there, but powered with explosive content. When blogging became more popular, I found so many sponsored lacklustre posts. It was obvious to sort through who blogged just to get rich and popular.

I felt as if the blogging community was expanding but turning into something colourless.

I did not want to be a part of that.

Thankfully Instagram became more of a platform for those types of creators. A place where less words are more. Your beauty gains popularity. Your samey content is a 'theme'.

Now I believe blogging is slowly reverting to what it was before. Rich with exciting content and a world for avid writers.

So I'm back on the scene.

Every time I post, I know I say, after this blog post I'm going to write more!

But this time, I truly truly - hand on my pulsing heart - mean it.

2. Find a sports/active workout that I truly enjoy

I honestly forgot I wrote this, because I only started exercising in September. But I've started! So that's one brownie point so far. 

I never thought I'd say this, but I love the gym. Especially my gym. What got me obsessed were the fun but challenging classes that introduced me to weight training.

Eventually I changed my workout. For cardio, I made it more intense but shorter. Incorporated weights to make me stronger and more toned. I used to walk out of the gym feeling weak and tired, now I feel energetic and sore. It's a great combo, trust me. It feels like you've worked your damn peachy arse off.

I definitely want to continue my gym sessions, try to find a suitable and affordable gym when I come back home after university. I didn't realise how good it makes me feel physically and mentally. 

3. Read more

I believe that I have read more this year than the previous years before. Picking up a book to read for enjoyment and not for my studies felt so refreshing. I could control when I'd like to finish the book, and not worrying about deadlines!

However I could have read more, much more. 

I think I will start using Audible or some kind of audiobook, as I could listen to it when I'm working out or on the way to lectures. 

4. MEDITATE 

I can admit that I have started, but definitely not as much as the Dalai Lama suggests. Luckily for Christmas my wonderful aunt has bought me a membership for Calm app, which unlocks clarity and peace into my day-to-day lifestyle. It has been so helpful already. The problem I find with meditating is sitting down and doing it. As it's an app it perches happily next to my other apps and reminds me 'hey, wind down with me instead of Snapchat and Instagram!' 

I have begun this life-changing activity however I could delve into it more. 

5. Learn a new musical instrument

Well this one is a no-no. Definitely haven't picked up a musical instrument more than five times this year. 
I believe I wrote this down in order to find a new hobby. Watching new thrilling tv series, working out, scrolling on Tumblr, journalling, eating at restaurants, and socialising a whole lot more has become more of a hobby. 

However I have purchased an easy how-to ukulele book so it may motivate me to get playing again.

****

So that's it folks. I don't feel upset that some ideas haven't been delved into, because I feel as if 2016 has become a successful year - 'the year of realising stuff!' Wise words King Kylie. Those ideas were to get me exploring myself a lil more. Become familiar with what am I interested in and what makes me happy. 

I have concluded that blogging really makes me happy, therefore I will focus on it a whole lot more. Focus on writing and creating beautiful content, rather than worrying and fretting if anyone will read this post. 

I have been to a great number of wonderful restaurants and I'm thinking whether to introduce more restaurant reviews... sound alright to you? 

Thanks for reading.

Have a fulfilling 2017! 

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I've been stopping myself from doing the things I love

Today, let's mark this date. I've realised what's been holding me back from releasing my creativity to the world.

1. I know what I want to do but I don't know where to begin.

2. I'm afraid that the way I do it, won't be the best way.

3. If I create something, I feel embarrassed to show it. I'll only reveal it if there's a gun pointing to my skull.


Funny thing about the last statement is that I was too afraid to admit that. I'm the first person to announce my opinion and not give two birdy poops about it. In regards to my creativity, or something I've been working on quite hard - I'm reluctant to show anyone. I don't care if someone likes what I'm doing, because there's a number of things that I know I don't like. I genuinely feel embarrassed to show someone my hard work or what I truly love. Like they will see a different side to me.

It's ironic (well I'm not sure if it really is ironic, still at 21 I'm struggling with irony) but if someone tells me that they feel lazy to create something, I'd push them out of that slum! Finding so many ways to motivate them: sending inspiring YouTube vids, handing over mindful books, and telling them that they are great at what they do.
 If someone tells me they think that their work isn't good enough, and they're fearful to do anything because others are better; I'd say "yeah, it's probably been done before, and it probably will be done again - but you haven't done it yet. How do you know that you won't be the best?"
 I've got a great example of this below*

So why am I not taking on my own advice?

Do I need someone else to tell me this? No, don't think I do. I know it, so I don't need someone else to tell me.

I need to read over Elizabeth Gilbert's Big Magic, if you want a glance of what the book entails watch:

Elizabeth Gilbert & Marie Forleo on Fear, Authenticity and Big Magic

Sometimes  A lot of the times I need a push. 

And this post right here will push me, get me outta that funk, reveal what my fears are so now there's nothing to hide. Now I can get on with what I want to do.

My question of the month:

Who are you living your life for?

Stop worrying about what others will think of your work, they may love it or hate it. Why does that matter to you? It's much more important that YOU love it and it's what YOU will keep on doing.

*I gave my friend an example of this. How many rom-coms have you seen where: boy meets girl, girl meets boy. Boy hates girl. Girl hates boy. Something strange or catastrophic happens. Boy loves girl. Girl loves boy.

I'm coming up with a list of rom-com films. Some (I'm guilty to say) I love and others I despise. Hollywood keep on making these and won't stop. Why? Because there's a writer out there who hasn't written there own version of it yet.

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We're half way through the year...

And what could I say about 2016?
I really had a feeling it would start with a bang. I had a pocket full of aspirations and achievements in 2016.

People say that New Year Resolutions can be damaging. Most promises that we make for ourselves are broken or haven't seen daylight in these six months.

As this blog explores my pure honesty, shamelessly I'll state what my resolutions were and if I accomplished them.

1. TAKE BLOGGING MORE SERIOUSLY

ACCOMPLISHED?:
NO

I can admit that I have taken it more seriously, and I've seen the great benefits of it. However, have I done as many blog posts as I thought I would? Nope. Definitely not. It's a shame, because I knew a "blogger's block" (not yet a writer, so let's stick with blogger) would cover my motivation. I got in a habit of getting home from my internship, then eat, then watch tv, then do anything else on my to-do list that's not blogging, and then bedtime.

I've learnt that spending 8 hours in an office, followed by a much tighter schedule of free-time before bed-time... is hard. Within my free-time I didn't want to use my brain. I wanted to do mind numbing activities to get me prepared before another day.

Not only that, but I can be pretty stubborn. A trait that is getting worse with age.

When someone tells me to blog. I won't do it. I would say "yeahhh, lemme pick up my laptop and get writing!" but truthfully I'm picking up my laptop to start binge watching the Walking Dead. No regrets.

My resistance to blog a lot more is because ever since I was 15, blogging was my creative outlet. Not to get attention or followers. It was a way of expressing myself when I was in the mood. Posts may be sporadic, but they had great value to them. I know that recently I have put up posts just because it would increase my views. And when I am told to blog more more and more, it loses the respect of why I blog in the first place. I blog because I want to.

Yes, I get it. We all wanna be full-time bloggers because we love it so much. But right at this moment I'm seeing posts that I think are so uninspiring and 'done before'. We're too obsessed with getting noticed and forgetting about our content.

2. FIND A SPORTS/ACTIVE WORKOUT THAT I TRULY ENJOY

ACCOMPLISHED?:
KINDA!

I've realised that HIIT workouts are my thing. Quick but intense gets my endorphins bumping and jumping. I haven't really done much exercising lately, as the event that I was staying trim for has gone now. So back to my best friend called 'carbs'.

3. READ MORE

ACCOMPLISHED?:
YES!

I completely forgot this was on my list, and I'm glad it was on there because this time I've done it! During my delay commute to work, instead of staring into the sleepy eyes of other commuters I pull out my book. I'm starting George Orwell's 1984 (a classic, I know, I'm a literature student who hasn't read it). I've read Andrea Levy's Long Song, and Ruth Soukup's How To Blog For Profit: Without Selling Your Soul. I got halfway, ok, it's more of a quarter, through Anthony Burgess's A Clockwork Orange, but it didn't grip me. Maybe the peculiar vocab is too much to grasp on in the morning and when I'm tired after work? But it is strangely fascinating, and someday I'll finish it. Maybe later in the summer.

4. MEDIATE

ACCOMPLISHED?:
NO

Yeahhhh, I was obsessed with it. But now I've lost it. One day it'll come back. I definitely have tried to be more mindful in general, now that I know what mindfulness is. So maybe I'm not in urgent need of meditation.

5. LEARN A NEW INSTRUMENT

ACCOMPLISHED?:
NO

Very sad to say but I haven't picked up my ukulele in a while. So nope to that resolutions, but maybe in the future.

So that's basically it in my six months of 2016. Stuck with promises, and broken them. C'est la vie!
I'm glad to have this reflection as now I'm able to revalue and switch it all up!

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WHAT'S IN MY BAG

This is my first time revealing what's in bag, so feel privileged. I didn't think that people would really be interested in stuff like this.

After removing old receipts and torn apart tissues. I dug up what's left in my sack. And realised that it could potentially make a fun post.

Obviously things like my phone or keys are left out, only because I prefer to keep them closer to me, in my coat pocket.

I slightly think this is a trivial kind of post, only because I'm not used to it. But if you are fond of this sort, let me know!

1. I used to be the "No. I don't wear hats" person. But after these blistering winters, I had to surrender. It says "On Wednesday's we were pink" 10 points to you if you got the film reference straight away!

2. Sorry, it's a bit dirty. Leftovers from my salad. It's a great sized portion for lunch. Given to me for Christmas from Urban Outfitters.

3. My A-Z multi-vitamins. Ideal if you get tired very easily, and strengthens your immune system when all these illnesses are floating around.

4. A notebook that was given to me from my friend, she obviously knows that I withheld "Great Ideas" that should be written down! This has been very handy when I'm learning new tasks in my internship. It will look good for your boss to see that you are keen to learn, and also to remember what they tell you! I walk around with this everywhere in the office.

5. My cute (very big) water bottle. I like to put lemons and mint in there too.  

6. This book is my life at the moment! I read it every day. You must google this book if you're thinking about turning your blog into a business. It's pretty funny too. And really relevant to my life right now.

7. I don't have enough time in the morning to sit and drink my tea/coffee. My little cup to-go accompanies me on my tube journeys.

8. Because it's England.

9. My mini Victoria Secret fruity spritz. If I could eat a scent, it would be that one.

10. You can't walk around without a pen!

11. I honestly forgot this was in my bag! I told you I had too many unnecessary stuff. Kiehl's hand cream - essential for the winter. 

12. Yeah, four eyes 'four'eva.

13. Because it's England.

14. Because I live in London, and without this sucker, life would be so expensive. (An oyster card / travel card for London only)

15. I like to play songs on my walk to the tube station to wake me up before I start the day.

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How To Relieve Homesickness

It happens to the best of us, and at the best of times. 

You're finally embracing your inner wanderlust explorer. 

Then the dark shades of blue lingers into your mind.

You feel alien to your new surroundings. 

It doesn't feel like home, could you ever call this place home?

You see what your friends are doing throughout social media. Having fun - you're missing out.

You make plans to see them when you're back. But those weeks ahead feel like years. 

You begin to compare about what is so good at home and what is awfully dreadful here. 

That dream of coming back home gives you butterflies. 

Homesickness is the worst.

***

It's not that you hate the place you are in, it's the fact that home is home - and you aren't there right now.

It's a ok to have this feeling, it's ok to experience every kind of emotion once in a while. It's a human thing and a reflection of life.

I have a few tips that has helped me. 

1. APPRECIATE AND REMEMBER

"How lucky am I to have something so special that makes saying goodbye so hard."

Be thankful that your home or your hometown is a beautiful place. Many people don't miss home because they have a terrible life - bad memories, no family or friends, or it's in bad conditions.

Appreciate that you have an actual existing 'happy place', and you are able to wake up in that 'happy place' every morning. 

Bare in mind, you will go back home. You will.

2. TAKE A WALK

I'm not announcing that you should put your walking shoes on and take a hike. Go on a walk, and walk to a place that you don't have in your hometown. 

For instance, here in Malta I'm always next to the ocean. But in London, the grey Thames is all I have. When I feel homesick I take a walk by Sliema and view the waterfront. 

Telling myself that one day I'll miss this, so I capture the beauty. 

3. GET OFF SOCIAL MEDIA

Stop comparing your lives with others. And to be honest your friends are only showing the fun things that they are up to. 

Instead of lurking, talk to your friends.

Because sometimes they may be feeling as low as you, but portray to others that life fun.

Pick up the phone and call a friend or family member. The more you do it, the more you will feel like you're at home because you've got all news and you're actually not missing out. 

4. MEET NEW PEOPLE/ HANG OUT WITH FRIENDS

There's nothing better than forgetting your woes by replacing it with great and interesting conversations. 

Netflix is not your best friend, save that for a rainy day!

You could even talk to people about your issues, because it's very likely that they feel the same.

5. GET OUT OF THOSE PJS!

OK, I'm a big culprit of staying in my house-clothes for the whole day. But as soon as you get up, showered, dressed, and even put on some make-up - you end up feeling more ready to get up and do something exciting. 

All dressed and no where to go? 

There's lots of places to go to - so explore!

6. MEDITATE

I've said it before, and I'll say it again.

I can't express how much clearing your mind feels your emotions so effectively.

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